Healing Garden World
Newsletter, Spring 2015
Carolyn Agosta
Copyright 2015
It’s been a while since I updated my website. Life has been happening!
Following writing the last update, my husband was diagnosed with cancer, stage 4. And my mother shared that she was sure she was close to death as she began preparing for her transition. To say my plate was full, is an understatement. While my mother was in assisted living, I was her primary care giver – an exhausting honor.
One night in late August, mom called and asked me to come to her apartment. I sensed something important was going on and went. We talked and laughed, then I went home. The next day she called saying, “I thought I was going to die last night. I’m ready, why didn’t I go?” She laid in bed waiting for death to take her, fell asleep and awoke the next morning wondering what she was still doing here!
Over the next several months, I watched mom as she softened and began to let go of life’s dramas and traumas. It was a beautiful gift to share with her. She found the words, “I love you,” and “thank you,” using them often with me. And while she was able to say this to others, it was hard for her to say them to her own children, especially her 4 daughters. Christmas and Thanksgiving were planned at our house to make it easy for mom to transport from assisted living. She didn’t make them in 2014 – she chose not to come. So the rest of us met without her.
It’s important to observe and notice – to be present in this moment. So 2013 was the last Thanksgiving and Christmas I spent with mom. I didn’t know it would be and I did notice the time together and our celebration. I was present. I am grateful for that presence. I carry that memory with me – her laughter, joking, enjoying her special lobster dinner.
In December 2014, we brought in hospice – by the way, all hospice are not created equal. After firing the first one and bringing in the second one, mom felt supported and so did we, my sister who lives close by, and I. Towards the end of January, we felt she was getting ready to go. We brought in a hospital bed which she accepted willing – different from the past when we tried. We rearranged things to put it in her living room, the brightest room. The bed had all the bells and whistles – she seemed to like it. That day she was laughing and joking – she didn’t miss a punch line. She had all of us laughing – Christine, my sister, and I, and the entire staff. The next day her doctor visited her and said mom had hours maybe days to live. That one day was her last conscious day with her in that body. Six of my 7 siblings came to town immediately (the 7th, Kate, lives in Sweden). When mom died on January 25, 2015, she had a smile on her face – I likened it to the Mona Lisa smile. She looked radiant, beautiful and so completely at peace!
We held a memorial for her on her 95th birthday, February 21. It was beautiful and brought closure for us. By the way, our mother donated her body to science, so we won’t have the ashes for a while – maybe as much as 2 years. The Detroit memorial is May 31 at my brother’s Italian restaurant in downtown Detroit, Angelina’s.
In the middle of all of this adventure, my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. They told us that the prognosis for this type of cancer is very poor. Such a small number of prostate cancers are this type (2 or 3 in a 1,000), no protocol has been developed for it. I saw that as potentially a good thing – less stereotyping of his disease and different expectations. In other words, we could have the opportunity to create our own expectations instead of having them forced upon us.
In early November, they removed a nodule from his lung confirming what they believed: ductal prostate cancer that had metastasized and was now in his lung. He began chemotherapy. Knowing what chemo does to the whole body, we contacted our holistic doctor who began prescribing Chinese herbs and mushrooms to support his blood and immune system. We worked closely with the oncologist. She listened to us and we listened to her. At first she opposed Bill seeing the holistic doctor. I told her she needed to kill the cancer and I needed to strengthen and support his entire being.
I contacted my Crystalline Consciousness (CCT) support team and they began working energetically with Bill – each taking turns. He created his intentions for their sessions with him and they did the CCT sessions – Seed of Life charts – 21 day chart. They began in November and the last one ended in early May. He had CCT support throughout the entire chemotherapy plus for 2 months post chemo. He also used CCT himself each day – a simple protocol to support himself with work, as he continued working throughout the entire process. He is a trooper! And he loves to work and loves his job. Often he worked from home – his company supported him fully.
In early May, they did CT and bone scans. This type of cancer likes to go to the liver. They found no trace of it in his liver. The nodules on his lungs looked smaller – indicating either that the cancer was gone and scar tissue was left or the cancer is reduced. At that point, we learned of a great acupuncturist and Bill began seeing him twice a week.
Since the beginning of our relationship, I have been urging Bill to reduce his German diet of meat and potatoes and add lots of vegetables. I make a lot of vegies which mostly I hide in other foods (a head of kale chopped into small pieces and placed in his rice, for example). I tried giving him green drinks in the morning and he revolted! His acupuncturist made it clear: 8-10 servings of vegies a day, eliminate sugars of all kinds (including fruit) and green drinks. His holistic doctor reinforced the 8-10 servings of vegies a day. So now he has his green drink each morning, only eats low sugar fruits (berries – organic of course!), reduced coffee to couple of times a week, eliminated all the milk and cheeses. He has been amazing and faithful as he shifts to a more alkaline diet. Our hopes and expectations are high!
How have I been? Pretty amazing, I think! People have asked me often, how do you do it? I would not have survived all of this without my CCT tools. I gave myself sessions often, set up my individual crystalline energy field and my crystalline group fields daily, and asked my CCT support team for help. I feel blessed, loved, supported from myself, my neighbors, family, friends, my CCT team and the Universe.
So now you know why it took me 6 months to get to this post. I hope to stay on top of my quarterly postings. My sister, Kate, (who is also my web master) is behind the scenes urging me to communicate with you.
Denver has had a tremendous amount of rain during May and the flowers are blooming. As soon as it stops raining long enough, I have plants to set in the ground and pruning to do. I want to go play with the Nature Spirits, dig in the dirt, and add more vegies to my small garden.
I am in deep Gratitude to all of you who have supported me and us! I don’t think I could’ve done this alone! And I never felt alone. Are we done with this portion of our journey? I really don’t know. What I do know is that it is spring, life is full and rich and a huge gift and I am in love with it all. Blessings and Love!
Blessings, carolyn